It's Raining, It's Pouring....

This morning my friend, neighbor calls me to tell me that nobody is trying to break into my apartment through my terrace, as she witnessed - first hand - the wind picking up and moving/knocking over my Adirondack chair... I swore someone had to have been on my terrace and attempting to get in because that big heavy chair was moved from one end to the other... but.... the weather is horrid, rainy, thunder, tornado warnings/watches, and on top of that - my dear, dear friend's father passed away and I had to drive her in this miserable weather to the airport - almost 200 miles from home - because that was the quickest and cheapest flight... so thank GOD for Lefty - she was the co-pilot, while our grieving friend huddled in the back of my car, heartbroken... Lefty and I just turned on music and talked about anything - thinking that it would probably be best - because if we started talking about sadness and all - I truly believe the sniffling, soft crying would have turned to downright heart wrenching sobs and nobody can get on a plane, go through that horrid security in such a state.... It makes me think, I am getting older... and if I am getting older, so are my parents, regardless of whether they want to believe it or not {{chuckles}}... It was a LONG night - though we treated ourselves to some Pollo Tropical before heading back home... I'll make the trip once again when she comes back to the States, but not another late night trip....

When your family lives so far away, and you live all alone as I do - you tend to adopt your friends as your family.  So, for Lefty and I to make this long haul, may have been tiring, but it was selfless because we love our friend...

Life has been nothing but work, going home, work, and going home... I got asked to do something by this guy I have seen off and on over the past few years... Hans.... Yes, that's his name, but he doesn't go by it... I should feel privileged that I know his real name - as I imagine most of the groupies/gaggle of barflies he tends to hang out with don't - and dare I have to explain after that comment why I don't like him....?  

I Don't Care About Your Band: What I Learned from Indie Rockers, Trust Funders, Pornographers, Felons, Faux-Sensitive Hipsters, and Other Guys I've Dated by Julie Klausner

"The author likens herself to Miss Piggy from the Muppets, plucky, stylish, mouthy and irrepressible, chasing after the perennially indifferent Kermit, who just wants to hang out with his guy pals."

I so related to Julie... it's about her love life... it's a fantastic, hilarious and extremely entertaining book that I read last year and LOVED... and it helped me understand why I shouldn't even bother, even if I get lonely, with Hans...

My son will be coming home from college for Summer break soon.  Actually right around my birthday in May.  So... we begin again, being a Mom... no more running around the house in the nude - no more not going to the grocery store and just living off what crumbs are still in the cabinet... no more keeping the A/C off as long as I can till it is intolerable because I want to save a dime... no more coming home to a perfectly spotless house - or even to a house that is the way I left it... but... I'll be happy - I'll have my baby back...

I haven't blogged because life is rather boring... I don't want to drink or go out and eat because of my dieting - I am tired because I have still been working long days - though not like I was - I cut that down - those are hours of my life I cannot get back, and on top of it all - I am swelling - serious edema - scary edema - the doctor gives me new meds, stronger meds, I am still severely swollen... I've already spent this past weekend lying on my back watching movies with my feet up on pillows... just when it goes away - I go to work - and it begins all over again... I'll have to go see the doctor and get lab work done now... I was hoping to avoid it - but I am afraid of the danger of all these water pills, the damage to my kidneys and heart from the swelling.  To have to go through what I've already gone through over the past 20 years to find out why, and to be told it could be this or that, then to be told they don't know why... I don't want to go through it again.  I had a full scan and testing with the Mayo Clinic - they said "Ideopathic" edema - meaning they don't know....

I change my diet - no sugar, no extra salt, exercise, don't exercise, lose weight, you name it - it doesn't matter - it still happens... and every now and then worse than ever - like now - onto 2 weeks... my friends are terrified when they see me walk up with my bony (visible veins and tendons) feet and ankles looking like giant marshmallows stuffed into my shoes... then when I can't talk because I am out of breath - well that's even worse - because they threaten to take me to the hospital or call an ambulance... it's like Congestive Heart Failure - yet there is nothing wrong with my heart after having all those tests done...{{whine whine whine - can I have some Cheez Whiz with my Whine?}}

Dreams-they are so strange at times, so vivid and colorful - last night I dreamt my uncle was divorced from his wife, but he had a son too (he has all girls) - - - he was asking me about some house and we walked out into the rain, the streets were washed out - police sitting at the intersections of these waterfalls that were once streets with their lights on - and as we were trying to figure out where to go - I looked out over this field and saw 3 large tornadoes barreling right at us... and there was NOWHERE to go for shelter - I said "we have to find a ditch" - then I moved, the cat was disturbed who was sleeping between my knees, and he fussed, and that was it- don't know what happened, what was going to happen, if we found shelter - but I do remember right before I woke up seeing a trailer home all mangled up and hanging in a tree... weird... weird stuff... I know it is all because of the wet weather and the tornado watches we've been under... really stinks...

Well, another day, another dollar - time to stop rambling on about nonsense for now... and go put these swollen ham hocks up on pillows and try and finish watching the French film I taped - though it takes place in Tuscany - oh it is so beautiful - the English name of the movie is "Certified Copy"....